A Tok'ra and a Jaffa were out playing golf. The Tok'ra was particularly bad and he kept saying 'Damn! Missed!' every time he missed a hole. The Jaffa told him in a scared voice, "You must not utter those words for Apophis will strike you down!" They continued playing and the Tok'ra missed again and the Jaffa repeated his warning. Afterwards, when the Tok'ra missed again, he repeated his curse. Suddenly before the Jaffa could say anything, Apophis' ship appeared and blasted the Jaffa, and a loud voice said: "Damn, missed!" Q: How many Asgard does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: All Asgard ships are currently unavailable, assisting in the effort to change the fuse. Q: How many Aschen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to replace the lightbulb with this fabulous new chandelier and the other to disconnect the house from the power grid. Q: How many Jaffa does it take to replace a lightbulb? A: Knowledge of Goa'uld magic is strictly forbidden. Q: How many physicists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. McKay to complain about having to change the lightbulb, Zelenka to say his family didn't have electricity and Sam to yell at McKay and actually change the lightbulb! Q: How many SG teams does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Six. One to change the lightbulb and five to rescue the first team! Reasons not to join the SGC 10. SGC teams are Earth's first (and last) line of defense against all the aliens SG-1 manages to anger. 9. Enemies will keep returning, even when you are certain of their death. 8. Friends, family, and loved ones, will reject you, be made to betray you, or die horribly. Usually a combination, and not necessarily in that order. 7. Members of SG-1 will die repeatedly and just as repeatedly be brought back to life. All other SG-teams, as well as allies, will just die. 6. If you are ever about to get the upper hand against an enemy, a mightier one will appear. 5. The only ones anyone cares about are SG-1. 4. Superior aliens - like the Asgard or the Tollan, also have superior egos, and will not share their technology willingly. 3. Alien technology, ships, and weapons will explode, crash, or infest you. 2. Sarcophagi can cure you and even revive you, when whomever SG-1 angered has killed you - but it will also make you a mad, evil, power-hungry addict. 1. You will not be assigned to SG-1.